Knock Carefully

Today, a co-worker of mine made a dire premonition regarding the state of the economy. A second later she raised her eyebrows in fright, as if realizing that the very mention of disaster might open up a passage for it to materialize in reality. Then she immediately leaned forward and knocked rapidly three times on the orange slate coffee table in front of her. Satisfied that this action neutered the curse’s potential, she leaned back in her chair and resumed her attentiveness to the discussion.

By my completely unscientific estimate, at least 72% of people who intend to knock on wood don’t actually take the time to find wood to knock on. They simple rap on the nearest solid object and call it good. This is particularly true when the circumstance arises in a car. Faux wood panelling doesn’t count. I’m pretty sure that the determining entities have been doing this long enough to know the difference. If in fact bad things, once uttered, can truly only be held at bay by knocking on wood, I must conclude that we are all doomed. The good news is that the lazy people will probably be wiped out first.

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